The Psychodynamic approach says that we suffer emotionally because of unresolved emotional conflicts. On one hand, we have powerful needs and impulses, and on the other hand we have social rules to follow and expectations to live up to. In between these two, we have a Me-in-the-middle, which is responsible for making sure that both sides get what they want.
The problem is that rules and impulses are often directly opposed to each other, and you end up in a stalemate. There’s no clear choice or action you can take, and so you get stuck in limbo, which creates a deep emotional tension for the Me-in-the-middle. Psychodynamic psychology argues that this is the real source of our psychological symptoms. This also means that if you resolve the core conflict, you will also dissolve the tension, and your symptoms go away.
Defense Mechanisms
Anxiety, depression, paranoia, avoidance, procrastination, denial, rage, addiction (and so on…) all result from the decision-making part of the self feeling like it is overwhelmed by the tension and about to break down. In these moments, we reach for well-practiced thoughts and behaviours that help us regulate our emotions and make the bad feelings go away.
These psychological tools are the famous “defense mechanisms” like black-and-white thinking, rationalisation, and denial. When they become a problem, it’s usually because they’re the last-ditch effort of the Me-in-the-middle to keep some kind of balance between the two opposing sides.
Having these defenses is perfectly normal and natural, and we actually need them to survive in the world. The problem is that we don’t usually think much about which defenses we’re using or why. Most of the time we automatically go with either:
- The one we know how to use best.
- The one that will give us the quickest resolution to our discomfort.
Short-Term Solutions, Long-Term Consequences
These familiar solutions are almost always short-term solutions, and almost always have negative long-term consequences. The more things you avoid and ignore, the bigger the unconscious discomfort grows and the harder it gets to resolve that discomfort. Work and stress pile up, your relationships start to sour, you’re angry (or sad, or anxious) all the time, your physical health starts to deteriorate, and you begin to feel like you’re carrying around a ton of bricks all the time, or that if one more f*cking thing happens, you’re just going to explode.
For some people, this results in panic attacks, for other people it might be extreme lethargy and depression, and for yet others it becomes anger and/or impulsivity. The “symptoms” each person has depends on their life history, as well as the nature of the family and culture they grew up within.
Psychodynamic Goals
So, this is the purpose of psychodynamic therapy:
- To provide a pressure valve for all of that unconscious conflict.
- To understand what defenses you use and what they’re protecting you from.
- Finding more effective defenses that manage your emotions, but ones that leave you feeling better, not worse.
In other words, psychodynamic therapy is about learning the skill of healthy emotional self-regulation and stress-management. You don’t have to remain a slave to bad habits and automatic reactions that cause more problems than they solve. It takes time, effort, and perseverance, but things do change.